I watched my mom come down the church stairs

She was in a Sunday dress that I had seen many times

I watched her descend the stairs passively

She moved slowly and grasped the railing carefully

Her body was turned to the side as she balanced in her heels

‘You’re getting old’ came the sudden thought.

I was stunned by it

At first I didn’t know where it had come from

But then I realized

My mother was walking the same way the old church ladies did

Many times I had watched the old ladies walk down those steps

I slowly made my way down just a step behind them

Holding their purses as they climbed down the stairs sideways

I had never seen my mother as one of them

As a child, the old church ladies had always seemed old

My mother had never seemed that way,

She just seemed like my mom

Little me hopped down those steps in my flats with ease

My mother followed after me, stable and steady

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My aunt came for a visit one day

We were all in the kitchen, talking and catching up

My mom was getting ready to cook

She asked me to get a pan from the bottom cabinet

I crouched down and fished it out with ease

My aunt stared in amazement

She commented on the ease at with I dropped down and popped up again

I blinked.

I saw the way my mother had to slowly bend over

I saw the way my aunt needed help carrying in things

‘You’re getting old…’

The thought scares me

I look at the members of my family: mom, dad, aunt, uncle

Stable, able, always there

Plans made, problems solved, burdens carried

What will I do without you?

When the day comes that I need to be stable, able, always there

When the day comes that I need to make the plans

When the day comes that I need to solve the problems

When the day comes that I need to carry the burdens

Will I be able to bare you just as you’ve bore me?

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I watched my mom come down the livingroom stairs

She was in casual clothing that I had seen many times

I watched her descend the stairs passively

She moved slowly and grasped the railing carefully

Her body was turned to the side as she balanced in her socks

The thought was no longer sudden

‘You’re getting old’

She was going down the stairs sideways