~ It’s an odd feeling wanting to be understood in an intimate way but at the same time wanting the freedom of being a mystery. Thus, here you have my words, but not my face.

Strange Cat 

I sat on my porch and watched as a cat walked by on the opposite side of the street. I had watched it as it came down the hill and past my neighbors’ houses.

I could not see its face.

I needed to get out of the house, stare at something other than a screen. The day was dull. The sun stood high in the sky but lacked the strength to push away the heavy clouds. It was consumed by the gloom and its dull glow was visible within the cloud’s stomach. The weak light did little to brighten the colors of the dull world.

My eyes followed the cat, the only spot of bold color within the washed-out scenery. I peeled the mandarin in my hand without removing my eyes from the feline. The cat’s fur was much like the mandarin’s skin.

It was strange. I had been staring at the cat on the sidewalk for a long time, yet its head was constantly turned away from me. I had always thought cats were sensitive to that sort of thing. To their primal instincts, staring was predatory behavior. I would think it would be more alert and concerned that I was staring at it, but it plodded along, the back of its head visible to me.

It passed behind a parked car. When it came out on the other side, I noticed that now one of its hind legs was dragging behind it. It hadn’t been like that before. Despite this, the cat continued on, head still turned away from me.

It passed behind a barren tree. It came out on the other side. I squinted. Was it me or did the cat’s skin look looser? As if it could come off with ease. I removed the last of the mandarin’s rind thoughtlessly. The cat was still turned away from me

A car drove by, momentarily blocking my view. When I saw the cat, it was no longer walking. It sat at the edge of the sidewalk. It began to turn its head toward me.

I smiled. It was going to show me its face.

My eyes widened. A shiver ran down my back. I got up and hurriedly made my way back inside my house.

I could not see its face.