~ It’s an odd feeling wanting to be understood in an intimate way but at the same time wanting the freedom of being a mystery. Thus, here you have my words, but not my face.

near you

My greatest longing while on earth: to be near you My ultimate goal is in Heaven: to be near you

Raised by parents that went to church every Sunday 4 hours in a pew so I’d be near you

My life is easy, too easy. I must be blessed When I never go against anyone in the quest to be near you

Good girl, good grades, good reputation… Am I not what you want me to be? Am I not near you?

Very passive, feeling just okay. I feel nothing when I sing these songs. Blanked out singing “Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer” to you

I’m older now. I can choose on my own. I still go. Stand before the church and pretend to be near you

I’m frustrated, I feel so alone, nothing I do ever feels enough It’s been so many years, shouldn’t I be near you?

What keeps me from walking away? Why do I stay? When I feel nothing, do I still need to be near you?

…Yes I do. I don’t want to leave. I never wanted to leave. It hurts right now, but I’ll keep striving to be near you.